Ichi's Hypothesis on Ulqui and L
by Psychotic Nightmare
Summary: Due to some freak accident, our beloved Ichi and Ulqui have appeared in the Death Note universe. Crack occurs.


**A/N: Frankly, I have no clue what you people are talking about. Yes, L died, but that doesn't mean he no longer exists! He was reborn in the Bleachverse as Ulquiorra. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor Death Note.  
**

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Two pairs of eyes stared at each other, one set emerald green, the other dark onyx. The green eyes had a bored, monotonous look about them while the onyx eyes were wide with dark shadows beneath them.

The person with green eyes wore simple white clothes that highlighted his shaggy black hair and the green tear-like markings that ran down his cheeks. To finish the look, he had a white, horned mask on half his head and a sword in a scabbard on his hip. His name: Ulquiorra Cifer.

The owner of the onyx eyes wore a long-sleeved white shirt and blue jeans. He had similar shaggy black hair. His name: L Lawliet. Aliases: Hideki Ryuga, Ryuzaki, Eraldo Coil, Deneuve, Suzuki.

A few feet away sat two teenagers, one with light brown hair and the other with orange hair, watching the silent staring contest.

The one with light brown hair wore a black tee shirt and jeans. In his hands he held a black note book with the words 'DEATH NOTE' scrawled on the front. His name: Light Yagami.

The orange haired teen wore a black kimono, a shihakusho, with a red rosary-like strap. On his back rested his covered (for lack of a better word) zanpakto, Zangetsu. His name: Ichigo Kurosaki.

"I'm not the only one who thinks this is weird... Right?" It was Ichigo who broke the uncomfortable silence.

Light turned to look at Ichigo, an equally puzzled expression etched across his features. "You're right... This is incredibly odd," he stated.  
"Who are you again?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki, Substitute Shinigami," Ichigo replied.

"Shinigami, eh? You don't look like one," Light stated.

"What's that supposed to mean? I look normal compared to Renji or Komamura," Ichigo retorted, glaring at Light.

"Anyways, back to L and... Who the hell is he?!" Light interrupted, pointing at Ulquiorra.

"That's Ulquiorra... I was supposed to be fighting him and then this happened," Ichigo said, turning back to the two.

"And L is supposed to be dead..." Light added.

"Dead?! Then how is he here?! He should be at the Soul Society!" Ichigo exclaimed. "Unless..." He suddenly gasped, realization dawning on his features.

"What?" Light asked, impatient.

"OmaigawdUlquiorraisLasahollo winHuecoMundoanditallmakesse nsenow!" Ichigo rushed, his jaw hanging open.

"Wait... What?" Light asked.

"You see, when people die they go to Soul Society or in some cases, get stuck on earth due to regrets. If a Shinigami doesn't make it to them in time and performs a soul burial, then that spirit is at risk of becoming a hollow. A hollow eats other souls and nests in Hueco Mundo, namely the the Menos Forest where they all nest. If a hollow eats enough souls, they can move up in the ranks as hollows. The three ranks are Gillian, Adjuchas, and Vasto Lorde. When one of these three classes have pieces of their mask removed, they come to be known as Arrancar. The Arrancar are evil. Ulquiorra is an Arrancar.

"Anyway, can't you see the similarities between the two? My hypothesis is: when L died, he remained here as a spirit. His presence was unknown my the Gotei Thirteen, so he had enough time to change into a hollow. After he was found by Aizen, he became Ulquiorra! Makes sense now, doesn't it?" Ichigo explained, at length.

"Sorta, I guess?" Light said uncertainly.

"In case I have to remind you, we are two separate beings right now. Thus, I cannot be this trash as a hollow, you imbecile," Ulquiorra said, never breaking eye contact with L.

"How do you know that? Do you even know how we got here? And if not, why are you staring so intently at him?" Ichigo shot back.

Ulquiorra remained silent, unable to find answers to any of the questions. Unfortunately for him, Ichigo still rambled on.

"For all you know, we could have been transported to another time. Seriously, who knows what kinda weird traps were laid around that desert?"

"There were no traps that I did not know of, and in any case, time travel is impossible," Ulquiorra said, annoyed even though he didn't show it.

"Hey Light, what was your last name?" Ichigo asked, ignoring Ulquiorra.

"... Yagami," Light replied, confused.

Ichigo stared at him for a minute before bursting into laughter. Light gave him another confused look and L and Ulquiorra broke their staring contest to stare at Ichigo instead.

"Why are you laughing?" Light growled.

"Yagami is spelled Y-A-G-A-M-I right?"

"Yes."

"Reverse it and it spells 'I'm a gay'!" Ichigo laughed.

A vein popped on Light's forehead and he pulled a pen from his pocket, flipping the Death Note open to a blank page.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, correct?" Light asked icily.

"Yeah, why?" Ichigo asked, his turn to be confused now.

With a malicious smirk, Light furiously wrote Ichigo's name down in the Note. Forty seconds later, Ichigo collapsed and L jumped up from his seated position, pointing an accusing finger at Light.

"I knew it! You are Kira!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "Take him away!"

"Shit!" Light cursed, glaring at L as armed guards approached and put handcuffs around his wrists, forcing him to drop the Death Note.

As the guards took Light away, L curiously picked up the Death Note, only to drop it as Ryuk came visible to him. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed, turning heel to run away as fast as possible, leaving behind a cackling Ryuk, a limp (dead) Ichigo, and a bored Ulquiorra.

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**A/N: I killed Ichigo... Thank you, crack-filled mind of mine, for this little drabble. **

**Oh yeah, since I killed Ichigo, keep the flamers to a minimum. Ichigo would have wanted it.  
**


End file.
